Why Learning a New EQ Skill Could Be Dangerous For Your Brain

A lot of young people nowadays are bombarded by trainers, coaches, motivational and inspirational speakers who try to urge and encourage them to learn a wide range of emotional and social skills.
You have to learn leadership skills, communication skills, time management skills, coordination skills, blowing your nose in public skills …etc

And a lot of young people fall for the false promise of success that is attained by acquiring those skills, and they spend a considerable amount of their money on learning and attending various trainings for that purpose.

Aside from the fact that training on those skills is not really effective (It doesn’t work people!!!) It could actually damage the neuro-connectors in their brain and weakens their hard-wired skills.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not against self-development. I am totally on board with continuous learning and expansion. But it has to be done smartly!

One of the obvious negative results is that most of young people are left overwhelmed by all the skills they think they need to acquire; they immediately feel incompetent, discouraged and doomed for failure. The success hit mark seems to be far off!

But what really matters is, if you try to acquire a skill that naturally contradicts with your strengths and talents you will probably end up average in both!

Allow me to explain by giving some examples.

I have a very close friend who is lousy at time keeping. She would say she will meet me at 8 and actually shows up at 1 instead. And doesn’t think it a big deal. She even gets upset if she finds me mildly irritated!!!!!!!
After spending so many happy years with her own perception of time, she has decided to learn time management skills and get on top of time.

Now let me share with you her strengths and talents. She is a massively creative person who works in the Art and Craft business creating fabulous designs and coming up with out of this world ideas!!!!

In her attempt to be a super time manager, it started to seem to her that it is never a good time for opening up to new ideas, it is simply time consuming. There are always things that need to be done to keep track of time. (Please note that this happened on the beyond conscious level, as her brain started to oblige to her request for time management)
She lost her appetite for work. And her ability to mix and match colours and to see patterns in her mind’s eye lessened by each passing day.

Luckily, she is back to her normal old self, enjoying her creativity that comes along with the luxury of being unconscious about time.

And I am back sipping my coffee alone… waiting!!!

Another example is people who just don’t like to follow through.

People with an Activator Strength Theme get really motivated starting a task or a project, but lose heart half way through. Or even way before half way!!
They seem unable to sit on one task for an extended period of time, as if they suffer from an itchy bottom syndrome.
Their brain is a super ideas generator machine that keeps overwhelming them with new brilliant ideas. And actually raises hell inside their heads to jump into execution.
Please note:There is a difference between someone who is an Activator and someone who is suffering from ADHD, and a third who is simply afraid from following through!(A professional coach can tell the difference)

If an Activator person tries to be more persistent and learns to follow through, he is actually taking the risk of weakening his strength!
If he shuts out the flow of ideas from his brain and forces himself to focus on the boring task at hand, his brain will learn to stop the flow altogether. And the whole world will have to suffer tremendously!

Learning a new skill should be in accordance with our own unique nature. We choose to acquire the skills that will support our natural strengths and harness our talent. That will help us do the things we are good at better.
And the decision to choose which skill to learn should be made after I know who I am and what I have been put on this earth to accomplish. And never before!
Needless to mention that learning and training will be easier and more effective, and above all it will be meaningful!!!

This whole line of thinking is a counter response to the new trend of perceiving talent as overrated.

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